How Meditation Healed My Depression

Depression is a very scary thing. If you have experienced it, you know what I am talking about. 

Heavy, empty, dark, disconnected, afraid, aloof, alone, this is what depression would feel for me. One of the hardest parts was that there was no reason for it. Nothing was wrong in my life. I did not have a bad upbringing or a tragic story to tie to it. Nothing, it just came and that on it's own made is so much scarier. 

I would not tell anyone I was going through it, because I did not know when it started and when it ended. It almost felt like it was always there. I would try to ignore it, but that on its own does not work for long.

Depression is more common than we believe, most people do not know what to do with it and they live it in silence. That was me. 

Regardless of why it is there, is it genetic, is it because of loss or trauma, is it because you've suppressed emotions for so long that you have become de-pressed, or maybe it is just seasonal or a chemical/hormonal imbalance, or maybe you are deficient in a vitamin or mineral, regardless of WHY it is there, in order to feel better you will have to actively participate in making it better.  

That is the biggest realization I had. For the longest time, I assumed that I was the depression and that maybe one day, something or someone would make it go away and that day and that someone never arrived. I tried traditional methods of therapy and support groups and it helped a bit, but it only helped the hour I participated, all the other hours and minutes of the week, I felt I was on my own and I actually was. 

That is when I decided to really try out meditation. I had attended guided meditation classes before, they were great, but it was a similar experience, it was helpful while I was there, but I never knew how to do it on my own after the class. I still felt alone. 

The game-changer for me was the day I learned about a meditation practice called emotional integration. It is like someone had heard my prayers. During that first class, I attended I heard the teacher talk about emotions, that they are just one part of us that need our attention and awareness and that they do not define us, that we can feel them and when we do they begin to become less intense, that we can do it at home every day. It sounded like exactly what I needed, I did not have to depend on anyone to practice this. It was like getting to know myself for the first time. The most useful part for me was learning about the 21 masks of the ego. Twenty-one emotions and reaction that we all have as human beings, that help us understand our emotional patterns so we can transform them. Wow, that was life-changing for me.  

I didn't start practicing it right away, I actually waited until things got a little harder because we do that right? Things are hard, so we learn there are things we can do, like change our diet, meditate, breathe, ask for help, but.... we don't do it until things get really really really hard. That was me. Eventually, I started practicing the technique at home, I didn't feel I had another option, nothing before that was really helping and my mind was becoming more negative as time passed. 

Starting practicing meditation and emotional integration was not easy or automatic, it took time, and many days that I didn't want to do it, but I kept at it. I still keep at it every day. I have learned that it is not a magical solution, it requires daily practice. The more you do it, the more it helps you. When you stop practicing it, the benefits go away, just like working out. 

If you want to learn more about emotional integration and how to create a daily emotional self-care practice get FREE master class Here

The most important things that this type of meditation taught me was:

• To stop seeing depression, anxiety as a life sentence. 
• Stop feeling weak and like a victim of life and my emotions. 
• It helped me build self-confidence knowing that I would show up for myself every day. 
• It helped me not to dwell and feed negative thoughts. 
• It helped me reconnect to love and appreciation. 
• It taught me to forgive others and myself. 
• It supported my spiritual growth. 

Hope, acceptance, presence, awareness, responsibility, contentment, are the emotions that I feel now most of the time. I have moments of sadness and loneliness, but I do not live there every day anymore. They are moments that come and go, I embrace them and honor them. 

I believe depression is not something that can be healed, because we are not sick from it, it is something we experience and that can be transformed into a more positive experience. But if it could be healed, I firmly believe meditation healed me, it just made my life better. I am so grateful for the day I heard the calling and attended the class, and for keeping at it. I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for that. 

If you are experiencing depression reach out for help and support, never underestimate actively doing something to get better, if meditation is not for you then find the thing that is, you will know what you need more than anyone. Remember no amount of money is enough when it comes to our health and wellbeing. Invest in you.

If you want to learn more about meditation and emotional integration get the FREE master class on how to create a daily a self-care practice HERE!

Much Love, 

Luciana